SONG VOYAGE // Mongolia // Episode 3 //

SONG VOYAGE // Mongolia // Episode 3 //


[SOUND] [MUSIC] It’s so epic.>>Right now, in this moment, I’m having the most breathtaking
visual experience I’ve ever had.>>This is the most
beautiful thing on Earth. [MUSIC] I’m so grateful, I get to experiment this
moment with you guys.>>It’s an honor. [MUSIC]>>But unfortunately,
the Gregory’s just can’t spend every moment watching amazing
videos on their phones. And today, they just have to put
up with the drudgery of riding across the Mongolian step
on yaks while wearing yaks.>>This normally, intermittently
boring task takes an exciting turn when they here the dull set
streams of a mysterious throat singer echoing down
the mountain side.>>[FOREIGN] What is this song of lament and
woe?>>[FOREIGN]>>The Mongolian Death Worm, reputed to spew acid from
its distended mouth and shoot electricity from
its bloodshot eyes. It had scared away
generations of would-be visitors from Mongolia.>>[FOREIGN]>>Say no more. We understand it is our charge
to protect the Mongolian people from the death worm.>>It doesn’t seem right.>>I thought that’s what we do. We come into other
people’s countries and over step international
boundaries.>>I don’t know.
>>And protect the land the way
we think it’s best.>>Feels weird to me.>>That seems like
a nice thing to do.>>Nope. [MUSIC]>>So it’s settled. The Gregorys have no choice but
to confront the fearsome worm.>>If the Gregorys are up
against a monster with a blood of acid, the best offense
may be a soothing base. [SOUND] [BLANK_AUDIO]>>Gotta warm up
my milking hands. [MUSIC] I’ve probably milked a goat
thousands of times before but today, I’m milking a horse. And I thought horses would
be easier because they’re twice as big. They’re going to have tits
that are twice as big, right? Let me see your technique. Turns out no, their tits are tiny which makes
it very difficult to milk them. You’re like in there
with your pinky fingers, just trying to get out any milk. This is a very small
amount of milk. This is very difficult,
plus it’s very hard doing these large sleeves because you
get half the milk in the bucket, half the milk is in my sleeves.>>[FOREIGN]>>It’s going to smell
terrible for a couple days.>>For the sake of our intrepid
international vigilantes, we can only hope that the worm
is lactose intolerant.>>Meanwhile, Evan prepares
to do the unthinkable, out-squirm a worm.>>I want to learn the true
contortionists way. [MUSIC] [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC] It’s both beautiful and
it’s scary.>>We are training now,
17 years.>>It doesn’t matter man or
woman, everybody can do.>>Okay.>>Okay, now try this one. [MUSIC]>>Yes.>>[LAUGH]>>[LAUGH]>>Is this normal? Do you ever play
a joke on each other? Like you hide in somebody’s
closet or something, and you’re doing a move. And then they open the door,
and you’re like, boo.>>[LAUGH] No.>>Does she do that?>>We don’t do jokes.>>What are the chances that
I might try a difficult move-
>>Yeah.>>And then I die?>>No, you don’t die. It’s just hurt. It will hurt.>>Okay.
>>Yeah.>>While Evan’s getting
bent into shape, Sarah prepares to be
the eyes in the sky. And also the claws which
are perfect for grabbing worms. [MUSIC]>>So,
the eagle can catch foxes, can it catch anything else like
pick up your groceries for you?>>[FOREIGN]>>How old is the eagle?>>Four.>>No, he’s not going to get
any of my generational humor.>>Is it a he or a she?>>[FOREIGN]>>All my ladies independent,
throw your wings up at me, girl. You’re beautiful. [SOUND] [LAUGH] Did I offend her? Is that why she’s flying away?>>Sarah might be a one woman
air force but someone got to put boots on the ground, and on
a dastardly death worm’s neck.>>How old is this
style of wrestling?>>[FOREIGN]>>This is at least ten
years older than the WWE. Teach me the ways of
Mongolian wrestling. [MUSIC]>>[LAUGH]
>>In America, when we lose, we get into a ball in the corner
and we cry for five minutes.>>[FOREIGN]>>Okay,
I’ll walk 50 miles then. I love you mom, it sounds like I
am going to drown in the ocean. [MUSIC]>>Before I leave, I may need
to share some of the horse milk with my nomadic hosts.>>[FOREIGN]>>But I’m a little nervous
because when I was milking, I forgot to brush off the
horse’s udder, which means that you get all this sort of dirt
and horse crap in your milk.>>[FOREIGN]>>I’m not afraid of
drinking horse milk but I’m afraid of
drinking horse crap. [MUSIC] It’s very good.>>You want to do bridge?>>What’s that?>>Bridge.>>Like you’re a bridge.>>Yeah.>>And the cars drive
across your stomach.>>Very good.>>Thank you. [MUSIC] Does it look as
good as it feels? Because it makes me
feel like a princess.>>[LAUGH]>>Hurt?>>No.>>No,
he did not do that to you. After you go out and
get the meat? Uh-uh, where do you
get your talons done? They’re very Rihanna. This has been great. Working with three men,
it’s just so nice to get some lady time. [BLANK_AUDIO] I feel like you
really understand me. [BLANK_AUDIO] [MUSIC]>>[FOREIGN]>>The reason this is so big is because they asked
me my size ahead of time. And I told them that
I was huge and rift. [MUSIC] I told them I was
the strongest man in America.>>[LAUGH] [MUSIC]>>[FOREIGN] [BLANK_AUDIO] Ha.>>Having reached
a level of mastery, equivalent to that of a four
year old Mongolian child, it is time for the Gregorys
to celebrate what may be their last night outside
the belly of a worm.>>[LAUGH]>>[FOREIGN] Sarah.>>Yes, okay. You just want to sear
it nice and light. Make sure your iron is very hot. Otherwise, it’s going to
take forever and you have a bundt cake to get to.>>[LAUGH] [FOREIGN]>>The charred head is great for
any family occasion, or a single’s mixer,
great conversation starter. [MUSIC]>>[LAUGH]>>What could psychologically
prepare a warrior for a gruesome battle more than eating a cute
animal’s ears, eyes, and tongue?>>Then,
after a night of heavy drinking, it’s off to make some life or
death tactical decisions.>>Our target is here, so we’re
going to enter from here, and we’re going to yield from here.>>But where’s the worm?>>Here’s a worm.>>There’s the worm.>>It’ll never work.>>It’s got to work.>>I’ll use my eagle
to peck its eyes out.>>I’ll use my ass-whopping
skills to whop his wormy ass.>>I’ll use the power of
contortion to distract him by being a sexy lady.>>I’ll bring the milk. [MUSIC]>>Today men,
is a momentous day. There may come a day when
the Gregory courage fails. When we don’t enter a majestic
and beautiful land, and fight a mythical beast
in the name of tourism. But that day is not this day. This day, we fight. [MUSIC]>>Hold. [MUSIC]>>Hey, guys.>>The worm is here,
he’s very small.>>Hey, I know you came
here spoiling for a fight. But I’m a lover, not a fighter. That’s my whole deal. I’m not who you think I am. It’s my bad boy reputation
that’s keeping this place free for
nomads to roam and ride.>>What do you mean worm? I’m probably the most amazing mythical beast you’ve ever seen But it’s all a show even though I look so mean I’m actually a really nice worm I like horseback riding, like one of the guys Can’t even really shoot lasers out of my eyes, that’s just one big lie We’re surrounded by two huge empires that supply every movie bad guy just ask James Bond and John McClane Russia and China would love to leave us in flames our majestic nation would be overturned if not for the world’s most fearsome worm I’m a Death Worm I’ll eat your body and soul, YEAH Not really, but please tell Vladimir Putin that I said so I’m a Death Worm And I’ll roast you alive With a mouth full of acit That’s what we call just a little white lie I’m a Death Worm Why do you think that Russia Went at Stallone in Rocky IV? Once the Rooskies heard about me they don’t show their face no more Why do the Mongols still ride free while China occupies Tibet? Cuz Mao was too scared to mess with the Mongolian Death Worm’s Steppe Step off Mao! You wanna make a bunch of Cossacks squirm mention the name of this mother-fucking WOOOOORM I’m a Death Worm I’ll barf acid on you! And that part is true It’s really really true, it’s true Okay it’s not true If you’re not a rogue nation consider a Mongolian vacation our vistas are unparalleled When you go home swear not to tell your friend later if your friend happens to be a dictator or I’ll send you both to Hell! He’s a Death Worm! I’ll come at ya, ridin’ a tiger And the tiger’s on an F-15 And then, the F-15 SHOOTS the tiger! But I jump off, and I land on your BAAAALLLS He’s a Death Worm! I’ll show up at your house, in early April Right after you set your clock for Daylight Savings Time And I’ll put ’em back on Standard! Then, quietly go downstairs, and eat the food out your fridge He’s a Death Worm>>No, I wouldn’t do that,
that’s too mean. [SOUND] [MUSIC]

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