Art is an expression that you can either relate to or not. Give me one of these. That’s it. That’s the only way we’re going to get through. Who is that? That’s Swizz Beatz?! Jesus look there’s a whole boat load of people here. No I was in line. You’re always in line. I’m always in line. Hi, I’m Jerry Saltz, the senior art critic for New York magazine and we are going to teach you how to navigate an art fair. No. Am I in yours? That was mean. You were being mean. A little bit. If you’re insecure about navigating any art fair, don’t be. If you walk down the center of an art fair, I promise you you’re going to hit really big whales of galleries. Here we are at Larry Gagosian who only has 22 galleries around the world. The sun never sets on Gagosian. Is he the biggest gallery? Probably. Let’s see what he did for this art fair. These are the drawings of John Kern. An artist who emerged in the 1990s. Women comparing bras, women is this. Fighting, cat fights, unicorns with phalli. These would be studies for paintings. Come on let’s keep looking. Oh shit…no it’s okay. Sometimes you will walk into a booth and you may not know what you’re seeing. I’m not sure what I’m seeing but there may be a theme of the exhibition. In this case, White Cube, one of the biggest galleries in the world based in London, looks like every single thing in this show has been about recycling. You have items that have been found and put in a case. A painting made of fire hoses. Again I’m not asking you to like it. Some people wonder how do I identify the serious from the non serious? I want you to believe me. Any artist you see in this art fair is a real artist. You may not like the artist, so put that cynical question aside. Should I tell him his former job? Directed porn films. True? Yeah. And he’s a great collector. Jesus. What a life people have had. Dustin Yellin is a very famous artist and what are you doing here? What am I doing here? I got kidnapped. I was in my studio and they took me to eat some spaghetti and then they said, “You stay in the car”. And they brought me over here. I don;t know what you’re talking about. Do you have any art here in the fair? I don’t like art fairs they make me physically ill. Except that I got to see you and kiss you and love you. I’m a little nervous. I don’t know what that is. What is that? Don’t touch anything, okay? Leave it to me. Jerry Saltz. I touch everything. I shouldn’t. It’s a way that I see. You’re not supposed to touch it. If I touched it. But it’s made of ceramic it could break, right? Well if you keep touching it, probably. Oops, sorry. Some people wonder, can I haggle? Look, this stuff is kind of expensive. And how much are these? Fifteen thousand euros. It’s about sixteen thousand dollars. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. You’re gonna have a heart attack, I know. So you might just be upfront and go, “can you give me 10% off?” If you say something like “can you give me half off” you’re not a serious art collector, which is fine. I don’t collect art, but I promise you you’re going to have trouble if you do that. So be chill will ya? Now we’ve made it all the way to the other end of the art fair. You’ve seen artists for ten million dollars, you’ve seen art that costs almost nothing, you’ve seen artists that are heard of, and artists some that you’ll never hear of again. Most of the people you’ve met might seem odd but so do you to them, and so do I to you. The best advice is stay open. Don’t be afraid or intimidated and again let your eye be your guide. You’re smarter than you think. No one knows what the best art is. No one has ever known that. So come on in and enjoy! Thanks a lot from New York Magazine. Bye! I’m going to get some free food. Are you getting on my TV show? Oh my god.